The Terrible Two’s.
Well, we were convinced that she hit that early; my BF informed me that while that may have been so, it really didn’t matter b/c while you outgrow one thing, you grow into another. Each new phase brings with it a whole different set of challenges to face.
Now, baby girl IS two, and WOW!! I thought we had issues before; I am in trouble right now! This headstrong, independent and (for lack of the right word) “in the right spot, the same way, a particular way, nearing perfectionist” girl is DEFINITELY our daughter!! When they say that you get paid back for how you treated your parents, I ALREADY see what I am going to be up against!! This girl is seriously challenging me at JUST two years old!
My BF commented on how well I seemed to be managing my stress and frustrations awhile back; in comparison to her occasional, medium lashing out, she found me to be unbelievably calm when dealing with Makiya.
Well let me tell you! I am quickly slipping into a state that I am not happy with or proud of. I know that as moms we have a tendency to be very hard on ourselves. It is normal to have bad days, to occasionally slip and react in ways that we never imagine or intend to. I cannot help but be hard on myself though. I am trying so hard, and making an effort to remind myself that she is learning, she doesn’t understand all things, or even how to control or express her frustrations in any other way than that in which she is. But it is soooo difficult. Add sudden interruption in her sleep (nap and early waking), which leaves me exhausted, and everything suddenly becomes very hard to deal with.
She wants to scream, make that high pitched “ehhhh” sound (that DRIVES me!!), thrash, throw herself on the floor, throw anything that is close to her, cry huge alligator tears (which quickly proceeds to sobbing and gagging), refuse to eat, DEMAND and resist everything from the simplest thing right on up!!
I finally noticed tonight that her last two top molars finally poked through, so I imagine a part of the sleep problem could be that. I also recently, out of frustration, ended the ritual of allowing drinks of water in the bedroom while settling in for nap or bedtime. She had turned it into a hugely chaotic game that had no end, except her screaming and bawling her eyes out, until I went in one last time to settle her back down; yes, I created that one, and it had to end. So, between those two possibly interrupting her sleep, the change in her amount of rest would contribute to the accelerated change in daytime behavior I suppose…
Ugh, it’s just so frustrating! I know it’s a phase that will soon pass, and we’ll be on to the next big learning curve, but in the meantime; I’d like to run away most days!!
FOURTH OF JULY FLASHBACK
2 hours ago