Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Comfort, Learn or Teach...?

An old friend, someone who I have mostly lost contact with, but still care about a great deal, seems to be going through a difficult time.

Her statements on Facebook surprise me, and yet echo within. She is vague, but I can only assume that she is speaking of serious issues within her marriage. She received a lot of feedback; leaving her to delete the whole post, re-word and add that some people should keep their opinions to themselves.

This girl was a very close friend many years ago, and sadly, we lost touch for about 14 years. Although we have both expressed desire to see each other and reconnect, we haven’t. So, what I now know about her is formed from pictures and statements via Facebook, or assumed/deemed to be in my mind. That being said, my opinion literally would mean nothing.

Instead, I feel as though my fears were correct. I remember my friend, and the amazing person that she was. I remember her strength and courage, her humor and early wisdom. I also recall the similarities we had in our taste in men; and I know that means difficult days kept silent until you explode.

I think I know from what I see/read, without actually knowing, that she is that same woman today. I imagine, that as it was then, we are still very much the same in some of our hopes/dreams/expectations. I wish we were closer, and yet am afraid of pushing too hard. I sent her a private message, reminding her that I was here for her and hoped she was ok, but haven’t heard back. I feel inside myself that I should be there for her, that I have the silence as well as the empathy to comfort and guide her gently; in her own time and way of course. I don’t know why I feel compelled to be there for her now. She obviously needs her own space to sort out whatever it is that is happening in her life right now; and yet, I feel I have SOMETHING to offer her!?! As it was then, our similar experiences gave us something to relate to with each other; knowing someone else had truly walked that same road. Now, I know our paths since then have been VERY different, and yet, I sense that they have also been very similar.

I think that I may be starting to LOOK deeper into many “relationships” from my past lately. Necessary or not? If I feel the urge to pause and turn around for a moment, I can only assume that is on purpose; I am required to gain something that I missed in the past.
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