When I was a teenager, I was full of anger and frustration; aren’t we all at that age?! I came to a point where began to believe that I achieved more of what I “wanted” when I portrayed myself in that manner; a hard shell that was easily provoked. Being mad was normal then and at times showed up as violence as well. Of course, now I see the reality of those days, feelings and the role I created for myself, they only succeeded in causing more things to BE angry and frustrated ABOUT!
Then, I moved onto where I am now; the anger and frustrations can still exist, but I don’t allow them to show their faces in the way I used to. Now, I hold them tightly inside, where they fight with each other for space as each continues to grow. Sure, I get mad, but now I keep the frustrations of it all quiet, only letting loose at times that tend to appear out of the blue.
Because it is! I let go when I am caught up INSIDE myself with OTHER thoughts, and so, as the story goes, I am not releasing that which is really bothering me!
It is a dangerous little path to follow. When we really have other things that are on our plate, instead of voicing those problems, giving a name to them and acknowledging them, we end up exploding on those around us in a situation so un-equal to that which is playing in our minds. We leave those around us shocked and confused.
I certainly don’t need to hold onto any feelings of anger, I know that is pointless. Frustrations are another story. I am responsible for any frustrations I have, I make the choice on how I will be affected by a given situation; If I don’t like it, I have the responsibility to myself to do what is required to make the change. I also don’t desire to hurt those around me with nasty words that have nothing to do with them.
I know I have work to do
A little more compassion and understanding; acceptance and thoughtful insight; we are all learning, and sometimes, we just need a little help to see that.