Saturday, November 13, 2010

My Heart Breaks

I am a stay at home mom and literally spend all of my time with my daughter. Because I take this time with her, I know her little quirks, gestures, signs, words and attempts at words. While it is a constant learning process, for us both, for the most part I do understand her. I know that she is a little creature of habit, continuity and routine. I know that she likes things in their place, and can sometimes be distracted by something that is off. I know that after I read her “lullaby book” (in the dark!!), I must also read the description on the BACK of the book; after our goodnights, she has her special corner of her blanket in hand and is then covered, head to toe, by two other blankets. I know the little things that make my baby girl tick.

The other day it really hit me, these things I KNOW about my child.

I thought of the babies and children that are suddenly torn from their mothers, fathers or other “primary caregiver”. The complete devastation that must manifest inside these little beings as their world is ripped away from them in an instant. All of a sudden there is not ONE single person that understands their cry, their language or their routines. No one KNOWS them or understands who they are! They are, for whatever reason, taken away from the only truths, comforts and communication that they have ever known and been thrown into a foreign place. Their entire life, world and sense of self must obviously crumble before their innocent and uncomprehending little eyes.

It broke my heart as I thought of it then, and every day since. I see something on television, read something, or as I interact with my daughter, and I am taken back to this sad realization. Every day, there are so many little ones that have their lives torn apart!

It tears at my heart and makes me so grateful for the time I have with my baby girl. We are lucky, and I try to remind myself of that simple fact every day. I try to drink it all in, savor it and enjoy every minute, exactly as it is. I cannot imagine not having her in my life every day, and I can’t even fathom the confusion that would fill my little girls head if something were to take me away from her!

My heart goes out to those who have grown up to know these truths in the core of their souls, and to the precious other little ones that are right now facing this heartbreaking, life changing disturbance (? Understatement!) in their world.


Oh Laurinda this is beautiful. Both you and Makiya are blessed to be able to be together and understand each other, sometimes without words. My heart breaks for those little ones who are, for whatever reason, ripped from the arms of their moms too.
Laurinda, this is such powerful and insightful writing. Your daughter is so blessed to have you in her life!
I obsessed about that a lot when my two kids were very small - once I realized that, if anything were to happen to hubby and I, there was no way that anyone could possibly comfort them or make them understand why Mommy and Daddy had "deserted" them. Wonderful piece Laurinda.
Thank you so much ladies!

Mom-I am so very grateful for our time together...

Susan-Thank you...though I think I am the lucky one!

Hill Country Hippie-I just keep being reminded of this, and it is really hard to imagine...

I just can't shake this, it keeps hitting me, hard! Had to share...
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