I feel 17 inside in so many ways and I joke that I am 21 for life. I know that I have grown incredibly since those days, and in so many, too many ways too count. I have “matured”, I have reached the points where you realize: that is your mother speaking(?!), I have LEARNED. But it has always amazed me, given me a moment where I need to pause and reflect; I AM still that “young” girl in so many ways. I have wondered if it is for others the way that is for me…
Those little things about myself that have NEVER wavered, the thoughts, the hopes and dreams, what I see when I look in the mirror; I am STILL that “girl”. If I look hard enough, I can see the new little lines in my face, the changes in my skin, and I can of course acknowledge the things that have altered certain thought patterns/beliefs. But, I still see that “spark” in my eyes, I feel that energy; the one that consumes you with interest and naivety, and excitement, desire, curiousity… I am not growing older, I am growing wiser.
There are times that I question that “wiser” element of life. We live only once in this lifetime, we experience this life one time; tough times, hard times, it doesn’t matter, we must do what is required to live life to the fullest. As we “age”, our rationale, our vision of life and the future, our toleration; it all seems to shift, even just enough to rattle who we have believed ourselves to be. We question our beliefs and our actions, in many situations because that is what we have been taught SHOULD happen when we finally “grow-up”.
I kind of, I DO, refuse to accept that for myself. In true fashion of “ME”, I snub my nose at society’s expectations of my future. I fully accept, and welcome all I have yet to learn, but as for my true spirit, the “real me”, I am not going to do much in the way of changing.
I like, love, myself just the way I am. In and out, ups and downs, I am the person that I am, who I was intended to be and “perfect just the way I am”.