Suddenly all the good that seemed to be blossoming around me vanished, and aside from some BIG wonderful things (like my beautiful daughter!) happening, life took a tremendous swoop into a downward spiral. I have come to describe it as a massive black cloud that will not lift. This darkness came about 2 years ago, and progressively got darker. For a long time I persisted with my beliefs and remained positive as often as I could. I wouldn't allow myself to get pulled into the whirlwind, and somehow managed for the most part to stay just above it. My feet dangled just low enough to feel the winds, but it wasn't strong enough to drag me inside.
Lately, that power has abandoned me completely. It has left me at the bottom of this chaos, lights out, walls up. I haven't been able to connect with that light, the energy, the trust and belief. In the back of my mind is this little voice that whispers to me, calling me back. I need to release myself again to its power. I long for it, I dream of it, and yet I cannot seem to release myself and allow it to happen.
I know I have to shift my mindset. Stop that internal madness and just let go. I need to allow my purpose to find me again. This has all been exactly where I needed to be, these are the feelings I have needed to feel and it was all meant to be. It was all meant to take me to the next chapter, the next journey, the next set of challenges that are waiting to begin.
I can feel the warmth, see the sunshine, taste and smell the beauty in all that is to surround me. I know that I will get there, and it will all be just as I have imagined and dreamed it to be. Every single day is a step closer. Every day is a doorway that opens to the possibilities that are. Each new day could be the day that it happens.
Today is THE day.
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