Friday, April 30, 2010

The Other Side of Us

I have noticed a re-occuring theme with some blogs, friends and family...It must be that time of year again, Spring!

For myself, I notice IT mostly in the Spring. The winds of change, the longing for growth, the need for REAL...It is a time when I find myself looking deeper within, at who I truly am, at what I truly want, where I truly want to be. It's when I really begin to remember the other pieces that make ME. There is a feeling, a nagging feeling that is trying to tell me something I have been ignoring.

It is so true that we, as women, seem to have 2 sides, or multiple sides to ourselves. ( Now, it bothers me on a certain, indescribable level, to limit this to "women". I think that ALL of us have this at times within ourselves. It is after all, guidance from another level, something not limited by gender...Perhaps, as women, we tend to be more open, receptive to these unseen forces...) There are parts of us that we share with the world on a daily basis, and other slivers, pieces that tend to be more guarded and hidden, our truer selves. We seem to find ourselves at war with these different aspects of ourselves. Not really sure which voice to listen to, and unsure which direction will take us down our ultimate path. At times not nurturing all parts of ourselves, either picking one side to be the "True" self, and ignoring the other pieces, or not caring for any of these parts because we are overwhelmed by the confusion about who we really are.

A while ago I was looking to write about something I remembered from about 14 years ago, but couldn't seem to find the proper context or starting point.
When I first moved to Alberta, through circumstance, I met this gal who I ended up spending a lot of time with. She came up with the theory that I had multiple personalities, and named the prominent ones! There was La-La, La-Da and Luna. It stayed with me all this time, popping up every once in a while, for no real reason. I thought it was funny, never really looking into it deeper.
When I now think of this in relation to the particular topic of having different sides of ourselves, I think it actually fits in quite perfectly! Looking a little deeper, I found meaning to each of these "personalities".

La La- She is the Mommy in me. The fun, carefree and silly side. This is the part of me that isn't ready to be a "grown-up", she just wants playtime and laughter.

La Da- She is the practical, work oriented, serious side. This is the side that tries to fit into "society", tries to be "regular" and accept the mold and roles that are taught to us all.

Luna- Is ME!! Crazy girl at heart. The spontaneous and deeper part of myself. Very similar to La-La, but much more intense. Prone to manic swings of emotion, feeling happy and sad on the intense levels. This is the side that adamantly denies "norms" and expectations.

A light way of looking at it, but perhaps this silly topic of conversation from years ago has been there trying to remind me, trying to clarify a few things... At the same time, I have always joked that I am "such a Libra". Meaning, in my mind, that being the scales I try to weigh everything, right and wrong etc., but I am able to see so "clearly" the positive to be found on either side... To bring that into context, I have a difficult time deciding which of those internal voices, the sides of me are true...they all sound so good, interesting, fun and in perfect balance...

I have the internal war going daily. Which I suppose in itself is a very loud and clear message that something is not quite as it should be. I am not nurturing ALL pieces of myself, and the callings to do so only get louder. I constantly receive the little messages, a song that won't quit inside my head, the reminding smells, a little voice inside myself, surely the little aches and pains that shouldn't be, and an all encompassing lack of determination in any particular direction. All signs, messages...doors that are opening.

I guess, after this longwinded ramble, that is what I find to be the important thing about this subject of our "Other Sides", the 2 of us (or more!) and all the secretive signals that seem to appear out of nowhere...WE MUST BE PAYING ATTENTION! We should always try to listen, "put on our listening ears" as they say. If these things are happening to us, we need to take notice! Ignorance is only prolonging the greatness we search for. It is, and always will be right there, at the ready... It is up to us to always be ready and willing to hear and do the things required to be true to ourselves, all parts of ourselves, our TRUE selves.

We are all on our own journey. The journey to realize our being for what it truly is, where it truly belongs and what it truly wants to be and should to be doing. We are on the path to our TRUE SELF. Everything else is just there to teach us and remind us...

Are you listening to the Other Side of You?
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