Frozen

I realize from somewhere deep inside myself, the place that doesn’t want to admit certain things out loud, that I am in the state of fearing impending life changes. My inability to move forward, to express myself and to live life fully is because I am at that familiar stage of resistance.

My eyes spotted something ahead in the road, and not wanting to face the blockage, I closed my eyes again; quickly and tightly.

I sit frozen by thoughts of what lay ahead, the things that could and should transpire. Every new chapter begins the same, and I have enough sense to realize that, but I cannot shake the feeling of impending doom. That feeling that always overwhelms me, even when I know the reality of the changing path will only have a positive outcome.

Something good is about to happen, I can feel it. Quick! Hide! Don’t let it catches me! I am not ready for this…I can’t…

Why DO we sabotage ourselves like this? Why are we afraid to accept the wonderful things that lay in wait for us; the people, the journey, our true path? Why do we resist with all of our might all that we have been quietly longing for?

Suddenly, my eyes were wide open with a clarity that had life gleaming before me. No other path made sense but the new road that lay before me…

Will I awaken in time now? Or will the doors silently slip shut, the light turn dark and my vision become a part of the background once again?