We wake up one morning and it’s like we are living in a new and exciting world. Everything seems clear and crisp. There is nothing that could take us down from this place that we seem to floating upon. Our resolve to step forward, into the unknown, like nothing we had thought possible. We know we can do anything we put our heart and soul into and no one will stand in the way of that. We know that what is before us is important, crucial and even critical for making the trek back to the true path of our journey. We are ecstatic because it all makes sense now, and that which we have longed for is finally within our grasp.
As women, there is a tendency for something strange to happen when we finally find that clarity that we have been searching for. Suddenly, this new strength that we have found becomes a threat to those around us.
There is another air, one of anxiety that tries to cloud our commitment. Those mixed feelings that come from those around us, those feelings that are purely their own. Those we love and care about, the ones who love us and really do want what is best for us become confused. Their own world has been shifted and they are frightened as to where they fit in, what their new role may be, or if there is one at all.
We become labeled. “Cold hearted bitch” is one name that rings out loudest. It can be uttered from so many different influences in our life, from the men to the women; our parents, siblings, spouses or friends. Our true feelings about what sits in wait ahead for us, become misconstrued and misunderstood. The lack of tolerance for that which we know must change in order to move forward becomes taken as something it could not be farther from. Our approaching success becomes something that others fear, for their own reasons and due to their own insecurities. They are afraid of things that are beyond our control, and in the end have nothing to do with us and our decision.
I am beginning to see how this scene has played out in my life, how my choices in the past have been affected; by worrying about how my own happiness and success would or could affect those few that were close to me in the moment.
I see, how as women, we have continued, one generation after another, to allow others to dominate our bodies and minds. I see how by denying ourselves of that which we were not only entitled, but that which was/is meant for our true journey, we have not only deprived ourselves of precious time, love and true living, but we have robbed those around us that we love. We haven’t allowed anyone to experience the beautiful gifts that we have to offer.
Eyes wide open. Ears, well, open, but sufficiently filtered from the noise that attempted entry…I took one step forward, then another…I realized this was my time and I could never be more ready than I was in that moment.