Showing posts with label Spirits/Ghosts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spirits/Ghosts. Show all posts

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Ghosts, Spirits or Crazy?!

Awhile back I told you the story of my childhood friend, and since then, I really haven’t had any experiences to speak of.

Until my daughter was born, three years ago.

Shortly after Makiya was born, we stayed in an old farm house. The bedroom that we slept in (as a newborn, Makiya was typically with us) had wood panelling on the ceiling and the walls. Never sure if it was simply the knots etc, on the wood or more, we would often witness our two month old daughter laughing, giggling, cooing and generally RESPONDING to the ceiling. Yes, I know, it sounds strange, and my husband, not being much of a believer in ghosts, spirits, etc., was pleasantly baffled. Whatever it was captivated Makiya and appeared to keep her happily entertained.

Eight months later, we moved into the house we currently live in. The history of the house, the previous owner/tenant, was only vaguely hinted at, leaving my husband and I to create the story to our liking, and joking. We made jokes about the spirit of an older lady still being in the house, myself only partially kidding. 

Since we’ve been here I have, increasingly, seen, out of the corner of my eye, black shadows slice through the air. Nothing big, nothing that left me feeling frightened. Usually I second guess what I have seen, and quickly dismiss it. Although denying has become more difficult as it continues to happen.

My daughter for several months began telling us that she was afraid of the rocking chair in her room, because at night it “pinched and rocked.” Adding to that, she speaks of a man at night who plays the drum, singing ABC’s who puts her on the floor. I only add these details because while of course one can never really know for sure where the children come up with the things we say, it just nagged on my mind as I started to really feel as though there MAY be a spirit of some sort in this house.

A month or so ago as I sat in the living room with my daughter, again not quite in my center of vision, but more visible than just a flit of movement in the corner of one’s eye, I saw a larger swoop across the room from the window towards our tree (or the wall of Makiya’s room?!). I examined the room, the windows, the possibility of shadows from the trees, all to no avail; there was no possible way that it was a shadow coming in from outside, the sun was in the wrong place, and really there was nothing I can imagine that it could’ve been.

Roughly a week after that, sitting on the couch reading stories before Makiya’s nap, I suddenly noticed a RED, I don’t know, truly and honestly, it was like a beam, a laser beam?, ending on my shirt. I instantly dismissed it as the sun bouncing off Makiya’s hair and shifted. But it kept following me! It was clearly not the sun playing tricks, but, it did happen until I moved out of sight of the window.

Two nights ago, I was getting my freshly made bread bagged and into the freezer. I left the two bags on the counter as I turned to place one loaf in the freezer and as I turned I saw a large, white swoop and the bags fell to the floor. I instantly felt giddy and burst out laughing as I turned to walk away and down the stairs. I couldn’t believe it, but had to laugh AND get away from the situation.

Of course my husband, the non-believer, had to know what was so funny, and I in turn had no choice but to relay to him what had just happened. I don’t know if there is something wrong inside of my head, I wonder because of all my headaches?!, if I am simply going bonkers, OR, if I am really seeing something!

At this point, I don’t know what to think… how about you!?

Friday, July 8, 2011

Old Writing - Once Lost and Forgotten

I was a little surprised, on a few levels, when I came across these last night. I had written them between 1997 and 1999, when I was only just entering my twenties…

March 5/1997

I see it by daylight.
I feel it by nightfall.
Consumed by this heart wrenching dream.
Life doesn’t exist…
Time tolerated only by means
that keep this alive and strong…
All inside of me.
Impossible to believe anything,
it’s tearing me apart!
This powerful grip on me,
It guides me, no,
pushes me forward,
Amidst the cemetary trees,
through the demonic graves,
along the horrifying path of the past.
A dim light ahead,
too weak to provide any comfort,
too far for any sort of direction.
What is this nightmare?
Where did it come from?
What is the purpose of this hellish tour?
Silence has begun to suffocate,
searching for relief…
    I lift my face from my pillow.
    Wipe the tears away with my sleeve.
    Look deep and hard…into my eyes…
    Darkness. Empty. Fright. Nothing.
    I lay my head back down.
    Close my eyes.
Nothing else to do, but,
return…
Back in the falling rain,
Surrounded by hidden visions.

March 10/1997


A sweet little girl,
    Soft blonde hair sparkling,
Stands innocently in the sunshine.
A horrifying,
        Dark cloud,
Lingering…
Like a spring rain
    Turning
Into a vicious hurricane,
Her life is torn apart.
A painfully quiet girl,
Darkness inside and out,
Sits in the shadows.
Like a mute:
    See all,
           Hear all,
Say nothing at all.
A cold and bitter girl?
Seen it, done it,
Nothing matters, but
Not surprised.
Worn out,
Tired from the journey…
Just like an old rug…
Walked all over,
        Then…
Tossed away.
There is no more sunshine,
Hasn’t been for years…
Just a constant downpour…
But, that sweet little girl?
She still waits…
Lost innocence, but
The memories…
    Of a sparkling sunny,
        Hope filled time…
Before the hurricane…
The memories keep her
Safe and warm
In the arms
Of the future.

October 29/1998


I saw and felt a scene from Hell
playing out before me.
I was trapped, for what felt like an eternity, and
hard as I tried to find my way back,
I was lost.
I couldn’t see anything in the thick fog, and
I felt suffocated by the darkness of it all.
Reason and Reality seemed like concepts of a
foreign place from that where I was forced to inhabit.
It was like revisiting, in a nightmarish haze,
The past, my past.
I was on fire.
Burning, searing pain that
Consumed me…
It made all the goodness seem like
A dream,
Fading before my open eyes.
I searched for comfort in my source of sunlight, but
All I found was an evil demon
Playing tricks on my eyes, heart and soul.
I felt betrayed, but
Was so confused
That I couldn’t see…
The leader of this twisted game was not my love,
But a being of the Devils own creation.
I had been stalked, hunted, preyed upon…
And I laughed in the face of it all.
I’d beaten this horror once before, and
Believed I was above it.
But, the reminder came,
Like a slap in the face.
It found a hole in my armour,
A weakness…
And proceeded to work at it until,
In the blink of an eye,
I crumbled to pieces of dust blowing in the air.
Gone.
Once again,
A drifting, lost soul.
Drowning in the rain that is my tears.

Always Remember - April 21/1999

Sometimes your mind slips into
The past, flooding with memories
So vividly real.
Tastes, smells, feelings…
They all come back.
Sometimes a face or a voice sticks out above the rest.
Sometimes you wish it would go away.
You pause and wonder.
Curiousity mixed with pain.
Where is that face now?
Have they found a happiness like your own?
Are they still troubled by all we once were?
Have they thought of you?
A door that never was closed,
Swings open wide.
Truths that only you knew,
Haunt.
Answers you always wanted,
But never got.
Sympathy for their disasters…
But, wait…
You don’t know these faces anymore.
Years have passed.
Years.
The time always comes…
Time to put the ghosts to rest.
They just don’t belong.
Like putting toys in the toybox where they belong;
You still want to play,
But you must grow up.
The memories flit past your minds eye…
Hesitating…
Pleading…
“Don’t forget.”
The hushed oath, hidden…
Not forgotten…
“For as long as you remember, I shall never forget…”

May 2/1999

I woke up one day to find
My eyes were no longer my own.
They belonged to someone
    tired,
        someone in pain.
I realized it really was me.
The real me,
the one behind the mask.
The one who had seen too much,
        too soon.

I woke up one morning, and
found my eyes alive again.
They reflected love, hope…
…life…
I knew it was me, and
thought that I had a chance.

Then…
I looked into my eyes again.
I saw pain and exhaustion.
I had tried,
Had faith,
Had love…
Had failed to live.
The sunshine in my eyes
Had burned away.

May 26/1999

My eyes are reflecting…
        Beautiful blue skies,
gorgeous green grass, assorted vibrant flowers, and…
                    with little wandering steps,
         tiny pink legs.
Chubby little pink legs, that reach up
to a chubby face topped with soft blonde hair.
Mischievious blue eyes curiously searching
everything,
        learning…
Soft little hands exploring everything
within reach,
anxious to discover this world she is still new to.
Sweet little gurgles and giggles of wonderment,
like music to my ears.
Scraped knees from stumbling first steps,
        tiny dirt streaks color the pink cheeks
of this amazing little package.
This heavenly little gift is a child.
These words a reflection...
Of the child that might’ve been mine.

Thoughts on Fear -- July 5/1999

Fear is a powerful feeling that leaves you powerless.
It consumes, devours, destroys.
It is a stranger on a dark street.
It is a lover holding you in his arms.
Fear is real.
Fear is fantasy.
Fear is control.
Fear is reckless.
It knows your darkest, deepest secrets.
It knows your dreams.
Fear hunts and stalks.
Fear is old, and all too new.
It is like a weed…
Growing and growing…
Killing as it’s roots take hold.
It distorts reality,
Clouds your mind,
Filling your soul.
Fear is danger.
Fear is safety.
Fear is a decision to give up on yourself.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

My Little Friend

Halloween is over, but after reading this post  on a blog I follow, I was compelled to share my own experience of a little “friend” in the house!

I lived in an old house until I was 7 years old. It was the kind of house where amazing adventures and mysteries took place, were discovered and imagined. It was also very creepy; the scary basement that I rarely stepped into and the attic rooms we were not allowed to enter. There were always spiders, big ones, little ones, and beetles! Ugh!! Even back then I had vivid nightmares of being trapped in the attic with all of these creepy crawly things surrounding me! My bed would shake a little sometimes, and one night I went downstairs to tell my dad; his response was that it was only the train. Of course! How could it not be the train that was several very large blocks away from our house! I also had an “imaginary friend” named Miranda who lived in the house. She was a little blonde girl, older than I was by a couple of years. We would play and talk together; even my parents witnessed me having conversations with her. We had a lot of fun, and I cannot remember ever feeling scared by her.

As I grew, I saw her less and less; by the time I was 7 years old and we were moving down the street, she was virtually non-existent. I remembered her and would think of her, but I don’t recall seeing her. Shortly after we moved, I was woken one night by crying; I could hear what sounded like a little girl whimpering. Curiousity led me out of my room to peek into my younger brother’s room where I thought I would find him having a bad dream, but it wasn’t coming from there. There wasn’t a tv or radio on; my parents were both asleep and it hadn’t come from our cats or dog either.

But I knew what it was. Miranda had come to check on me, to be sure that I was safe before she left me forever.

I never forgot about Miranda, and had no shame in sharing our story with friends. I knew she was not a made-up, imaginary play friend, she was a real little girl that I was lucky enough to see. I always had the sense that something had happened to her, which I guess explains why she was there, she was stuck.

9 years later, when I was 16, I was re-united my second oldest sister; we had not spoken or seen each other since she left home when I was about 3 years old. I quickly learned that my friend Miranda, had also been my sisters friend. She had the same name, same blonde hair and we shared similar experiences with her. Our older sister had witnessed her sitting up in bed at night, talking and playing with Miranda. Miranda would also shake my sisters bed; ha ha ha dad, so much for your train explanation!

Although we didn’t grow up together, my older sister and I have always been very similar in our personalities and characteristics. I imagine that is why Miranda chose to reveal herself to the both of us and no one else in our family. She knew that we WOULD see her, and I guess she felt comfortable and safe with us.

Over the years I have experienced little signs or glimpses of spirits, but nothing like what I experienced with Miranda. I think of her and our time together quite often actually. It is a little mystery that I hope to one day know more about; who she was and what happened that left her stuck in that house. My sister and I have our theories of course, but as of yet been unable to actually learn anything. Perhaps we never will.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Amazon

AdSense2