Kicking Ass on the Scaredy Cat Pile

I found myself, many times, in 2012 simply unable to write. I tried, but as with everything else in my life, I just couldn’t keep focused long enough to continue.

So many thoughts and feelings coursing through my body, and I am, at times, simply incapable of keeping up. I suppose that I feel overwhelmed with all that sits upon and before me, and it has me feeling a little paralyzed in every way.

In order to overcome fear of any kind, isn’t it said that we must therefore plunge in headfirst? Dive in and face that which causes us to feel afraid. But, where do you begin when there is one helluva pile of scaredy cat sitting before you?! Which side of the pile do you dive in and swallow first?

I think I’ve got that part figured out though. Me. I start with me.

All of those little things I’ve been meaning to get to, to do, to start, to add to the routine, I start with those. Those things that make me better; healthier, happier… That’s where I start. One little step at a time, one day at a time and I turn them into parts of who I am, what I do, what I think and feel.

I don’t know that I can “start fresh”, but I can start each day doing and thinking the right things. One morning, one step at a time, I can BUILD it, and write it, all the way that I want to.

So 2013, let’s kick some ass all over the place!

Lucky 13

2013.

I’ve never been pulled into the whole New Year’s hype. Sure when I was a teenager I went through the couple of years where I swore to do this and that; big plans with those resolutions… that never stuck! Don’t recall many big celebrations, aside from the crazy one when I was seventeen, ahem… other than that, it has usually been a quiet night, save for those years when I worked in the bars/pubs. Most recent years, we’re in bed or watching a movie, and by midnight, I’m either asleep, or the only one barely awake!

Last year, I did try to make attempt at the whole one word “resolution” thing; “Motion” was my theme. Well, on a physical level, that was a big ol’ FAIL, but on the intellectual level, deep inside, I guess that has been a huge success. A little too bad that I wasn’t able to make the two work together!

This morning, as I drank my coffee and strolled, or scrolled, my way through Facebook, my outlook for this coming year changed.

I realized that it was going to be 2013 tomorrow. 13. One of my lucky numbers AND the first, and only, time I will live through a 13^th year! Kinda cool I thought to myself, and decided in that moment that this “New Year” could be a GREAT one!

No resolutions, or plans that will likely fail. Intentions? Sure, quite a few actually; hope they don’t find their way into becoming “resolutions”!

Goodbye 2012. I am grateful for all you had to offer, all that you shared in an effort to help me grow and learn.

Hello 2013. Get ready ‘cause here I come!

There's a Fire Under My Ass

Keep it simple; one word to convey my desires for 2012?

Motion.

This year I want to see more, do more and be more. In order to do that, all of my good intentions, ideas and inspirations need to be attended to; I need to get MOVING!

There have been so many things that I want to try, learn, see and yet they all sit there, in the back of my mind as grand plans for “another day”.

It’s time to DO them.

All of the things that I long to create in my life require that I take steps, forward movement, and I will never see the effect that I know they will have, the impact on my, and others, lives if I don’t light the fire under my ass and get MOVING!

I don’t need to jump off the ledge, go all crazy and dive into everything at once (ha ha, maybe I do?!), each little step is movement in the right direction. Each time I focus on now instead of later, do instead of put off, and pause to focus when I feel overwhelmed, I will be drawing myself back onto the path of my journey; again implying that I will be moving ahead.

Get moving to stay healthy physically and emotionally. Get moving to create the things I long to, from writing to crafting with Makiya, crafting for Makiya and for the home, gardening, indoors and out, crochet, sewing, cooking, educating Makiya and myself, all of these and many more things that I want to do!

Places to see, explore and enjoy are waiting, and I am tired of waiting for another day.

Today is the day to DO it! 

Wishing You a Wonderful New Year!

This past year I have been shown much love, understanding, support and empathy from so many of you out there; the people I may not have seen in years and those of you I only know through writing and have yet to meet.

I have once again been shown what a magnificent power this platform, that of on-line social networking, truly has. I’ve been a part of communities that have shown unbelievable love and strength, and that taught courage while instilling wisdom.

I am so grateful for all of you.

On days when a smile is far from reality, YOU have brought me a laugh. During difficult times, I was reminded how lucky I am. My heart was opened, and shown the beautiful pieces of this life that we sometimes lose sight of. We encouraged one another, sometimes guided them or led them back from darkness. We were there for each other, when we needed it and how we needed it.

We have cried together, laughed together and learned together, all while sitting behind our OWN computers, and I find that to be an amazing gift that we have been lucky enough to share.

I can’t wait to be there, together again, as we continue along on our journeys! Have fun, keep smiling, writing, drawing, capturing photo’s, whatever is your passion, DO IT, and keep learning and growing as you do!

Wishing you ALL the best in 2012!

Another Year... another leg of my journey...

As the year comes to an end, once again I find myself contemplating what has happened this year and what I hope to achieve, do, change in the New Year. I have never been good with resolutions, and even in changing my inner dialogue as to my plans for the year ahead, I cannot seem to ever keep up with them.

I hope this year is different.

Last January, I laughed in the face of silly horoscope predicting a year of tears and while not finalizing a plan, intended to get serious about my writing and submitting, and hoped to forge my way into some type of home based income. FAIL.

It certainly has been a year full of tears, personal revelations and a progressive shift in my outlook on life. With all that has happened, all I have learned, re-visited etc., I should think I have more than enough emotions, feelings and thoughts to work out through my writing, and therefore I should be able to get a lot of pieces finished, and, submitted all over the place! The changes that I feel myself upon, could more than benefit from my finding a way to earning some type of income, so I should hope that idea becomes more of a plan!

I know that the months that lay ahead for me also hold plenty more learning, growing and change. I know that my tears aren’t done falling and there will be more pain inducing situations. Am I more prepared for what lies ahead? Probably not. Am I still afraid, of what I’ve learned, what I haven’t and what could be? Absolutely. Am I ready?

Ready or not, here comes the New Year, and I do know that it will all play out just as it should.

 I know that I am on my way, and I know it is all for a reason; my purpose, my journey.

Content to Dream...for now...

My husband got me a beautiful calendar of tropical islands for Christmas, Islands in the Sun. Most anyone who knows me, can probably imagine how much delight this brought me! Just to stare into each photograph of vibrant blues in the waters and skies, the lush greens of the trees and other plants and the broad spectrum of colors to be found in the exotic flowers…ahhhh!! Each and every time that I gaze into such photos, I am INSTANTLY transported; I can feel the sand beneath my feet, the water lapping at my toes, I feel the warmth of the sun and the breeze that lightly lifts the hairs on my arms and I can smell so many things, the salt in the air, the flowers, the coconut oil on my skin…

This new year, 2011, will bring me that much closer to achieving my dream. No, unfortunately, I don’t have plans made, nor am I currently actively working towards it; however, it is, and always has been, deep inside of me, the knowledge that I WILL be in these places. I KNOW that my life is going to take me there, not just for a short vacation, but I will have the opportunity to soak up every single bit of it all as I spend perhaps years there.

Lofty dreams? Wishful thinking? Perhaps, but I choose instead to live happily in the belief that what I have always felt to be a reality in my future, will absolutely be. Besides, doesn’t somebody say that without dreams we have nothing?!

For now, I face each day as it comes. Attending to the things I must, and dreaming/planning of the day when I prepare to make the trip to the places I will go.

Happy New Year and Happy Birthday to my Baby Girl!!

I have many things swirling through my mind these days, many things I would like to write about and things I would like to write down in an effort to work them out inside of me. Between Christmas, visiting family and cold/flu running through the house, I haven’t had a chance to do much of anything! Now that I am getting back to normal, the Christmas decorations are coming down, goals are ready to be decided upon and set and focus on my writing is in order!

Today is my baby girls 2nd Birthday!

Wow, it is so true “time flies” when it comes to our kids! In some ways it has been looooong and in most other ways, it is just amazing how fast she has grown and learned so many things. I remember all of the fear and anticipation leading up to her birth, the back labor and finally meeting her for the first time; and I savor every instant since then. Makiya has taught me so many things, about myself, about life and about family. Her laughter, that smile and her wonder at life capture me every minute of each day, and I fall deeper in love with her!

Well, these are all the words I can manage for now, and I should really get back to the mess that is this house!!

Happy New Year to you all, and I look forward to sharing, learning and growing some more with you in the upcoming year!