Sunday, September 19, 2010

What We See In Others

Throughout my life I have walked with so many different types of people. I have spent time, for the most part, with people that so many others would “condemn”. I, myself, at times, have done the same.

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."- Anais Nin
Words that can be so hard to accept and actually realize sometimes, but they are right on the mark. In a sense, I suppose, we look into a mirror when we look into the eyes of another.

We encounter people in our lives, and we tend to label them. “Successful”, “Drug Addict”, “Loving”, “Inspiring”, “Rude”, “Lazy”, “Phony” etc. It seems to be so easy to pass a judgement on someone else and their life or lifestyle, to think that we could/would never… How often do we really know, or even bother to take the time to get the real story behind what we see and therefore assume to be true. We make assumptions and judge others, sometimes even ourselves, without taking into account the history behind what is seen.

I think of strengths and weaknesses. The strengths that we carry within ourselves, the ones we don’t really even know exist until we are put into a situation where they are required. When faced with a crisis, we all react differently, but, mostly, we go into survival mode. We do things that we never knew we would, things that we never even knew we could do! On the opposite side, while we also do things we never knew we could or ever would, the action comes from a place of weakness. They come from an immature place inside of us; a part of ourselves that hasn’t yet been given the opportunity to grow, and, where like a child, we make mistakes.

You did what you knew how to do at the time, and when you knew more, you did better." - Maya Angelou.

The things that we find ourselves focusing on in another person give us a feeling, perhaps one of comfort, or maybe irritation and annoyance. Why do we get that feeling? Obviously we don’t usually tend to question the positive feelings we receive, but what about the negative vibe we get from another person? How could that come from something within ourselves? How could it be that our strong feeling about another and something they do, a personal trait they have, is actually in direct relation to a part of ourselves that we actually like or dislike?

Maybe deep inside, we really wish we could be more relaxed, or not “care” what others think, the way that the other person APPEARS to be. We might want the “freedom” they seem to have, tired of our OWN responsibilities. The alcohol or drug problem we fault them for having; it could be that we haven’t fully faced/accepted a problem in our own life or even our family history. We perhaps call someone loud and obnoxious, but inside, we actually wish we had the courage to say what we truly feel. You might condemn another for their beliefs, but actually not be firm enough in your own and feel threatened by them.

I suppose in a way, the Universe is showing you what already is. What already exists somewhere in your life.

I believe that our interaction with another is ALWAYS for a reason. If there is something there that bothers you on such a deep level, that person must obviously be there for a special reason. Whether you are able to accept it or not, they are there to remind you of something, to teach you a lesson or maybe for you to actually reach them on some level. There is something there that needs to be discovered, not just tossed aside without a second glance.

I have never walked the straightest path, seemingly to prefer the treacherous rock climb. At times, surrounding myself with those that, at first glance, may not have been “right” for my life. But those people were with me for a reason, some of those reasons I still work at discovering, but I took something with me during those times. Good or bad influence, the people throughout my life have had valuable things to show me. I have never been able to settle for a life without drama of some sort! But, in the end, I wouldn’t have it any other way! I try very hard to hold few regrets. I remind myself (sometimes new reminders are required!) that everything I have ever done or said, every person that I have encountered, was on the path that led me to the place I am at now.
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