Showing posts with label Mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mom. Show all posts

Sunday, January 27, 2013

This Day Was Meant For You



Every year at this time, she is filled with a consuming sadness. It leaves her exhausted and confused, despite knowing deep down inside where it stems from.

She was adopted as a baby.

This is a pain I can only imagine. Despite having felt myself at the depths of sorrow and sadness, it was something that feels pale and simple in comparison to her own struggle of emotions and overwhelming sense of aloneness.

Her senses of belonging and importance, her role, those things that make her special, are lost upon her at times; times such as now, her birthday.

She is my mom.

Her birthday is the day that reminds me of exactly what kind of a gift she was then, and continues to be now.
I am grateful that, no matter what the circumstances, she was born. Her beginnings in this world less than what most would dream of for their baby girl, I am grateful that she found her way into a loving family. I am thankful, and grow constantly more appreciative, for the journey that she has walked in her life. It led her to be the one chosen to be my mother, and it brought her and I to the place where we now are.

We are friends; bonded and connected by so many things, our turbulent past is almost laughable.

Happy Birthday Mom! It is your day. It is now, and it always has been. Look back over your journey with excitement and joy as you remember all the steps that you took to bring you here, now. All of these things that make you special, and uniquely you; these things that you are loved and appreciated for that make you amazing!

Today and every day, always remember how special you are to all of us. No one does it like you, and that’s the way it is meant to be!

I love you. 

Monday, March 14, 2011

Women's History Month

Growing up I remember being asked the question from a variety of sources, “Who do you look up to?”, and even then I was a little mystified. And yet, although I realized that there was no specific role models that existed in my mind in that sense, I didn’t ever really bother to take the time to dig deeper, or investigate what that could mean to me; to HAVE someone I really looked up to, maybe like a mentor, perhaps as someone I really desired and aspired to be like. There were times through the years when I was faced with this question that my mind would drift towards Oprah, but I would quickly dismiss it as cliché and perhaps just an easy answer.

I just simply don’t recall EVER having anyone, even more specifically, a woman, that I looked up to in this sense. We didn’t ever discuss anything close to celebrating Women’s History Month, and I certainly didn’t realize there were even such occasions back then! In fact, the majority of my life I have either had more friends of the opposite sex, or, as now, simply spent more time in the company of myself; so for really examining the relationships of women in my life, my grandmothers, etc., it has really never been in the forefront of my mind.

Being completely honest, my thoughts on many things have been transformed, or altered over the past year. This would include the relationship with other women; something I have lacked understanding in the value of. I am learning, slowly. I can see it, and am beginning to realize the necessity that actually exists in having a friend or “sister” (of course mother, but I am speaking in the sense of relating to any other woman).

As I look back now, of course I can see that one of the women, one of the most important women, that played a role in my life was my mom. They do say, in the ever popular cliché, that a new bond begins between a mother and daughter, when the daughter becomes a mother herself! But going many years before that, as a young girl I looked up to my mom. I remember being proud, even bragging at times, of having a young mom in comparison to some of my friends; and of course adding that she was pretty! As I grew, amidst the chaos that often exists between moms and their daughters, I still was able to acknowledge the strength that my mom had; dealing with my dad and yet being able to not only go to college, but to excel at the top of her class, only then to move on to working quite successfully for a large company. She had two kids, one of which, ahem, was horrible to deal with, and yet she managed to do not only what was necessary, but she was able to build for herself the life that she truly wanted and deserved. I can certainly say that my mom has taught me many things, whether she is able to see it or not. She has shown me what strength, courage and dedication are all about. Her journey, in so many ways, was/is the lantern that lights my own path.

Laura Ingalls Wilder. How could I have ever forgotten her influence on me from such a young age?! I was captivated by her books, the Little House on the Prairie series and many others. She WAS the “hero” of my childhood in comparison to the other “super heroes” that the kids were into. Laura was the strong, brave and determined girl that grew into an amazingly brilliant woman. I drank in every word of each new dilemma that was faced throughout her life; every new town, the storms, the illnesses. Everything that happened within her family was only a small obstacle in the whole picture of the love and dedication that was shared within that circle.

Oprah. Well, I can now easily admit that I do look up to her. She not only accepted and acknowledged the horrible things in her early life, she absolutely rose above. Above and beyond that personal achievement, she has and continues to do so many wonderful things around the world. The financial and otherwise opportunities that she has provided pale in comparison to the inspiration that she has provided to so many people. She has opened the hearts and minds of an immeasurable amount of people worldwide; she has shown us what it means to give, to receive and to truly live and love in our lives.

There is another woman that I think of now, in this context of great women, empowering women, strong women; I will call her D. She was my boss for a few years, but I also have thought of her as a friend and a teacher. I admire her in so many ways. In the short time that I spent with her, she was the one that seemed to pull the blinders off of my eyes. She brought back to life many things I had touched lightly on throughout my life, but she presented them to me perfectly, exactly as I needed, when I needed. She has shown her own strength in so many ways during her life, and she is truly an example, in my eyes, as to how we could live our lives purely; she makes living our true life, walking our ultimate path look simple!

With this newly opened mind, I could perhaps add a few more women to this little list; my sisters, my grandmothers, my BFF and a couple more well-known names; but I think I have said enough for now!

Women’s History Month…who are some of the women that you look up to and admire for their courage and strengths?

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Day #2-Gratitude Journaling

1. I am so grateful for the recent contact with my step daughter! It is so exciting for her dad, I miss her so much too, and I am so hopeful for her to meet her sister!

2. Mmm, the smell of a delicious dinner of chicken, potato, onion, butternut squash and apples, rosemary and garlic….cooking all day in the crock pot; little work required early in the day with a perfect, simple dinner as a result.

3. TIME with my daughter; to learn her characteristics, her stories and her style of communicating.

4. I am appreciative of the surprise visit from hubby/daddy at lunch time; a nice pause in the middle of the day, for mom and Makiya!

5. I am so very grateful for the abundance of food, the ability to “stock up”, the extras we have been able to afford recently; a simple thing, yes, but having a freezer full is something that should never be taken for granted!

I am excited to be giving attention to these “little” things in my life, the wonderful things that flow in, sometimes without a second thought. What an opportunity for growth and understanding, and obviously, the chance to welcome MORE of all that I love and appreciate!

Amber Starfire and my mom, Linda Hoye, are the wonderful ladies that put me back on this journey of journaling my gratitude, so, I should add them as #6 on my list of Gratitude today!

31 Day Gratitude Journaling Challenge


Today, I give thanks, and I pause to reflect on all I have in my life to be grateful for.

1. I appreciate my husband and how hard he works for our family.

2. I am always grateful for baby girl; an abundant supply of smiles and laughter!

3. I am thankful that, while financially difficult at times, I am able to stay at home with Makiya, to experience every minute with her.

4. My wonderful best friend; our connection, understanding without words and our similar, yet different, minds.

5. I am full of gratitude for my mom who has, as it was when I was young, ignited (or re-ignited) my passion for writing and introduced me to a wonderful world of connecting, learning, Blogging and sharing…

I hope to keep up with this Gratitude Journaling. I tried once before several years ago, and quickly gave it up. No reason in particular, my life just took me away from it at the time. I have learned so much more in the years since, about Gratitude/Abundance and how if we only offer the respect that is warranted, we will enjoy so much more of the things that we can be grateful for in our lives. For a look at the inspiration behind this and some exciting information on the benefits of gratitude, I encourage you to check out this page.

PS. Wrote this a little late last night, but it is for December 1…

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