RIP Shamos

Shamos.

February 2000 - June 2011

Our “Ca-Dog”, our best friend.

I nursed you as you were a sick kitten, pooping all over yourself, bathing you constantly and daily in the bathroom sink.

As a baby, you would find your way under the blankets at night to stretch out beside me as though you were a person.

You were a camper from early on; I remember the first trip where you dashed across the creek and straight up a tree. Shortly after, you were content upon a tarped inner tube on the dead river. Sitting on my lap like a child in front of the campfire, later on a jacket; no fear, only warmth, comfort and staring into the glow of the fire…

You loved road trips, jumping right in the truck at the mention of it.

You joined a pack of wild kitties in Quebec, we thought we had lost you…but there you were that night, eyes shining in the moonlight, staring back at me…

Tinfoil balls were one of your favorites…chasing and bringing it back to do it all over again!

You had a few favorite places to sleep; the bathroom sink, closets (after dragging whatever clothes you could into the perfect pile), bags of any kind (purses, backpacks, suitcases, and it didn’t matter whose it was!),hammocks and trees…

The usual; birds and mice, throw in the few rabbits you enjoyed! And you had to show off your catches, bringing them home to proudly toss around and pounce on.

We swore you were a truck driver in your past life! You had the complete opposite reaction as to when any other vehicle, large or small went by; when a semi when by, you sat back, relaxed and squinted your eyes happily and contentedly, watching it pass.

Helping dad with the trucks; sitting right up under the hood, watching…as though you would pick up a wrench if you could…

You were never a cat guy, preferring to befriend the larger dogs, instantly.

Attitude? Absolutely! The day we warned and warned Russie to move his belongings (keys, water, cell, etc.) from “your” window table; he didn’t listen, and you sat there looking at your spot and back at him. It wasn’t long before you stretched your paw up, and with one swipe, brought everything down!

A&W fries were of your first favorites, early on. Beef Jerky; stolen from my work bag in the night! Later on chips, preferably cheddar! We had movie night in bed, there you were of course, and we munched on our Au Gratin chips. Later, we went to clean it all up and discovered that you to had been enjoying a snack with us; you had chewed the bottom corner open to eat chips too! Pull the cheese out of the fridge, no matter where you were in the house, you came running! Tuna too, always at the ready when you heard a can being opened!

You and that crow…we would wake up to you arguing, for hours, every day; there you were sitting screaming up at him, and he sitting up on the wires or in the tree, screaming downing at you!

Playing in the yard with that silly kid toy, the yellow, hard plastic, alien character; we played “catch” for ever!

Your all time favorite toy though, was your Honeysuckle log… rolling around, flipping it, dragging it…

After we got married and hit the highway to come home, (yes of course you were with us!) we almost lost you…Heh, I don’t blame you, I didn’t want to leave BC either!

Our walks to 7-11…that block and a half that you would walk freely with us, hide in the alley, behind the dumpster waiting for us…as soon as we came out and said your name, there you were, ready to resume the journey!

Walking with dad and Bo up and down the alleys…

Every night, you came to sleep with us. Many times, especially when you were young, I would wake with you sleeping ON my head!

Scratching and talking on dad’s side of the bed every morning; “Get up…Time to get going…Feed me…let me out!!”

Cuddles with Makiya in the morning…letting her grab you, hug you and sing to you. She brought you books to read, treats everyday (even hand fed at times!), she brought you your toys, even shared hers with you…

You were never just a cat, you were a part of our family, our best friend. You were MY baby, my “first”… So many memories… So many adventures. You had an amazing life.

We will never forget you. You will always be with us. We love you. We miss you so much….

The Universe Speaks in Mysterious Ways

Those little moments of “coincidence” or when we are awakened by a voice, a sign or a feeling that comes to us apparently randomly; I love them! I am always amazed, pleasantly surprised, and of course grateful when my eyes are opened to the magic that IS this universe, this energy source that we are a part of; that we ARE.

I have noticed lately that the word drawbridge keeps coming to me from random sources. It’s in my mind like a flashing neon sign. This morning I decided to look up its meaning to see if I could understand what the word is trying to tell me. I came across several dream definitions that immediately spoke to me with a sense of “aha”.

One definition was of European origin and stated that to dream of a drawbridge “means that one will have to persist despite obstacles an unexpected journey”, another site offered that “Seeing a drawbridge in your dream, represents protection. You may feel that some relationship or situation is too invasive. It may also mean that you are drawing the line and seeing or eating boundaries.”

The meanings that I found had meaning to ME. I was, for the first time in some time, given a little inner giggle of delight. What I read spoke exactly of what I was feeling inside, they shone light inside my mind and instantly reminded me of my path; I am where I am supposed to be, as always.

I need to find some silence, a moment to pause and be still. The whispers of truth will speak to me; they are speaking to me, I just haven’t been listening.

This Girl of Ours

Well, it seems others take much more pleasure from the current antics of my daughter than I, so I thought I would update you on her “attitude” and such!

The main point I must include being that her strengths are certainly growing stronger!

While the little voice inside begs to be heard and is constantly trying to remind me, I often find myself in battles with baby girl. I allow myself to engage, which only leads to her screaming at the top of her lungs into my face. There is nothing that I can say in those moments (nor that I should say!), and not regularly enough, she finds herself in her beloved “time-out”. (I have realized that her putting herself into time out is her reminder to me that I am lacking in consistency; I am not sticking with our choice of discipline and she is letting me know I need to get to it!)

During the difficult times we have endured in these past months, and additional people that have been an influence on her, Makiya has also picked up, and quickly learned the correct usage of certain, umm, undesirable words. Luckily for me, at the time they sound more like “sit” and “pssd”, but nonetheless, she is saying them and at the right time. As hard as I try to ignore her, she comes right up to my face, a smile on hers and repeats it; in those cases I FINALLY resort to a calm, nonchalant “That’s enough.” While truly not funny, I cannot remove the image from my mind of her and her older cousin a couple of weeks ago caught in a tug o’war battle over his skateboard. When I finally intervened and removed the board, she stood there, crossed her arms and said “SIT!” Yes I know honey, life is frustrating!

Last weekend, playing with her new friend quite happily for hours, she suddenly turns wicked. Only mere moments after giving her friend a big hug, she stops. She slowly unzipped her sweater, pulled herself out of it, (typically something that requires “help mommy” at home) and proceeded to swing around and “whip” this poor girl with her it!

Her sweetness comes out in silent moments when she’ll suddenly turn to me and ask “Evthing ok mommy?” Siiighh.

Rambling to myself as I went through recipes yesterday, she turns around to look at me, palms up in the air and asks “What’d you say mommy?”

Today, I let out a noise as I burned myself removing muffins from the oven. She comes back up the stairs and says “What’s up?” I shook my head, did I really hear that? I ask her if she really just said “What’s up?” and she says “Yes, what happened?” Oh this girl just amuses me to no end!

Her favorite character is Curious George (recently being joined by Dora the Explorer) and her whole world is about George. No matter what she does or says, she will tell us that “George do this too”! Everything is likened to George and that Man in the Yellow Hat!

She is reciting her ABC’s perfectly now. Not only does she count 1 to 10, she goes back and does 10 to 1! Add to that, she is able to tell us what Cat, Dog, Zoo, Mom, Dad, No, Go and Makiya are when we spell it aloud for her, as she sees it on paper and spells it out, she is also getting these and a few more!

Oh this girl is too smart for her parents own good!

Marriage

There are days when you can barely look in them in the face for fear of saying or doing something you may regret; sooner or later.


There are days you wake up and can’t wait to look into their eyes, spend all day with them, do anything and everything with them; TODAY!

There are hard days.

There are days you know you will cherish and laugh about for years to come.

Some days it’s easy.

Some days, it’s hard as hell.

Some days you laugh.

Some days you cry.

Some days you can’t wait for them to walk out the door.

Other days, you wish they could call in sick.

There are days you reminisce about your wedding day.

Then, there those days you wonder “what was I thinking?!”

There are days you smile.

There are days you scream and yell.

There are days you don’t think you will ever survive.

There are the days you ask yourself how you got so lucky.

We love and we hate.

We adore and we despise.

Most days, we simply try.

We do the best that we can.

Marriage. It isn’t easy. It isn’t without hard work. It isn’t without strength and endurance. It is about tolerance and perseverance. It is about trust. It is about growth.

It is an amazing journey.