Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Losing a Friend

Losing touch with someone close to you is never easy. You watch them slip and slide backwards, sometimes repeatedly, sometimes suddenly; sometimes both. You witness them change before your eyes, becoming a different person; someone that is capable of frightening actions and words. You know that they are in trouble and you reach your hand out, often and relentlessly. Your compassion only met by anger and rejection. You see them losing themselves and struggle to understand how you can help them. You feel their own confusion so thick it chokes you, and yet they can’t see it for themselves. You beg and plead, cry and scream, and nothing seems to work. It is suddenly like they have literally gone blind to their own previous thoughts, hopes, beliefs and dreams; they ARE different. Every once in awhile there is a glimmer of that person they once were, but it seems so rare that you know you are now dealing with a stranger. The person you loved is gone, nowhere to be found, no matter how hard you search for them.

Once you come to this final realization, you are beyond drained and feeling completely alone. It is one of the hardest things to live through, the depths you reach depending on who this person was to you. Nothing makes it easier as you go through it, nothing can ease the pain that comes from grieving the loss of someone special in your life. You feel overwhelming sadness and cry more tears, ones you didn’t even think were left behind your eyes.

But, in the end, you find the strength that was inside of you all along. You now know that you’re friend is no longer the friend they once were, and you needed to part ways in order to move forward.
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