Every year at this time, she is filled with a consuming sadness. It leaves her exhausted and confused, despite knowing deep down inside where it stems from.
She was adopted as a baby.
This is a pain I can only imagine. Despite having felt myself at the depths of sorrow and sadness, it was something that feels pale and simple in comparison to her own struggle of emotions and overwhelming sense of aloneness.
Her senses of belonging and importance, her role, those things that make her special, are lost upon her at times; times such as now, her birthday.
She is my mom.
Her birthday is the day that reminds me of exactly what kind of a gift she was then, and continues to be now.
I am grateful that, no matter what the circumstances, she was born. Her beginnings in this world less than what most would dream of for their baby girl, I am grateful that she found her way into a loving family. I am thankful, and grow constantly more appreciative, for the journey that she has walked in her life. It led her to be the one chosen to be my mother, and it brought her and I to the place where we now are.
We are friends; bonded and connected by so many things, our turbulent past is almost laughable.
Happy Birthday Mom! It is your day. It is now, and it always has been. Look back over your journey with excitement and joy as you remember all the steps that you took to bring you here, now. All of these things that make you special, and uniquely you; these things that you are loved and appreciated for that make you amazing!
Today and every day, always remember how special you are to all of us. No one does it like you, and that’s the way it is meant to be!
I love you.